Self-involved, but with a great taste in music

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

A birthing

How awesome is that? This boat propeller won't work when it's outside of the water so of course just toss some H2O in a tub. Brilliant.

Some big news in the friend department... arguably my best friend got engaged... so that makes my odds of picking up women at the bar better by one. ;)

And the other friend that could vie for that #1 friend spot is about to have his first child. Big days indeed.

Seeing people that I love and admire go through the process of a pregnancy/engagement has been interesting. A little scary and a little inspiring. Let's talk child first: a selfish side of me laments that I hardly see that friend anymore. That I sometimes even forget to offer to invite him out, that it's such a rarity to see him away from his home. But the other and, infinitely more interesting, part is the reason why these changes are impacting him so. He has a different sense of purpose, of priority, and already it seems like a faded memory when his wife and child weren't around to factor into his life decisions.

And because I'm the myopic self-centered type, I can't help but wonder if this will reawaken some stirrings inside of me for a family and the idea of building something of my own. Or maybe just being around this child will quell whatever notions may be lying (pretty deep, I'll admit!) underneath the surface?

Oh, and to get the that part above you'd hope that a commitment of some sorts is involved. But with the boring options out there that part seems even more absurd than having a child right now. Oh, look at me, the woman's dream -- a newly reborn commitaphobe. =P

Monday, May 2, 2011

Getting close...

I was talking to a close friend recently and he asked what I'd like to do. He was referring to my career, but I replied that I'd like to just sit and watch the ocean.

"That's it?"

That's it.

"You'd get bored."

Maybe, but then I'd move from a sandy shore to a rocky shore. Or to a balcony on the cliff side. And talking to you gets me bored. (kidding... I didn't say that [but is it true?!?!])

And since I did know that he was referring to my career I finished the thought; that I don't mind sacrificing the day-to-day for a bit of a payout. And I can't think of anything much more rewarding to take in the vastness of the ocean. Different times of day. Different seasons.

So maybe it's a bit sad/ironic that the marvels of the desert don't really do it for me. Hiking is okay, but getting to the top and seeing the dust bowl around me makes me go a big "eh". So I can admit I'm not this zen master that appreciates all nature... but my little slice of heaven would be a small room with a big window up in Oregon with books to read and time to write. There's a certain feeling that swells within me, an easing of sorts, like the reassuring touch from someone that you trust and admire entirely. And some lemon squares. Don't forget the lemon squares.

And when I do visit the ocean and I stare at the ebb of shore I feel like I'm doing something indulgent... but not wasteful or excessive. Rather it's just doing something for yourself that you know strengthens your resolve. Something reunites me with who I used to be. A simple, happy, quiet kid.