Self-involved, but with a great taste in music

Monday, July 12, 2010

Glipse into the eye of idiocy

I use idiocy quite a bit when I talk about my own thoughts. While I don't really lack intelligence, it's the dwelling on the same thoughts and over-thinking that causes me to mock myself.

Even if you don't know me really well you'd be amused to hear my internal monologue when I walk around my dark living room about to leave for work. It's like the first (and terrible) draft of Rainman.

Do you have your keys?
Yes.

Are you sure??
YES.

Can you feel for them in your pocket?
Alright. Yes, they are there.

Because you know that you can't lock your door without your keys.
That's correct.

And even if you felt secure that no one would steal your stuff, you wouldn't be able to drive anywhere.
Right.

And you need to drive to work.
Right.

I guess you could take a bus, but you don't know the bus routes around here.
...

Maybe we should look into the bus routes around here?
...

If you start taking the bus you'll need to charge your Zune more often. Do you have your Zune?
Yes.

Can you feel for it in your pocket????



No joke.

Watch me when I'm leaving a place and watch me look down with a confused look and pat my pockets.

Feel free to point out when I do this in other situations because I can't even tell when my crazy gets out of the box anymore.

So occasionally I'll get into my car and head out to work and I'll remember that I don't have my laptop bag. Stellar that I'll remember the crap out of my keys and I'll visualize a future 2000 steps into the future along a path that I'll never take and I'll forget the most obvious thing. That's my idiocy.


But it's part of my charm so I don't mind it.

2 comments:

Cole said...

haha THIS IS ME! Except I admit I'm WAY worse. I have to grab my purse full of 1. wallet(inner monologue says-do you have insurance cards for me and 2 boys just in case, car insurance in case I get pulled over, dl, frys card in case I go by the store etc.) 2. Lip gloss because I have this strange weirdness that I hate it when my lips are really red. so my nude lip gloss is a MUST and I secretly freak if I don't have it. 3. almost always have candy in my purse just in case I need to bribe Micah. so horrible I know. I guess those are the key essentials of the purse. THEN there's the diaper bag. Full of diapers, wipes, drink, snack, EPI pen just in case Micah has allergic reaction, motrin just in case, teething tablets just in case, extra clothes just in case. Oh it's bad! And I thought guys had it easy, wallet & keys.

Bu said...

THAT is hilarious. My mind would up and walk away if I had half of those dependencies. And yet another indication that I'm not ready for children. (not sad about that!)

LOVE the candy to bribe Micah. I've been using that route to get him to warm up to me!

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