Self-involved, but with a great taste in music

Monday, June 14, 2010

Monday = Pragmatic Bu

One of the things I'll really enjoy about blogging is that I'll be able to have a record of where my mind was throughout the year. I've never kept a diary and most years I forget what my new years resolutions are far before the year is over.

I'm incredibly self-absorbed. It's almost disgusting how much so I am. But this self-reflective nature of mine of involves questioning my contributions to the world and just my little world... so I like to make sure that I'm a better person so I can better serve the public, my family, and my friends.

So 2010 is nearly half over. It's a good time to check the temperature and see how the year has been coming along.

It'll require more thought to place a tick on all of these things, but this is off the top of my head how I'll evaluate year 29 of my life and year 2010. (this is actually a snippet of how I actually think)

Dissatisfied ---------------------- Satisfied
It's interesting how one's career takes a greater priority as we get older. I feel like I'm the same kid at heart, but every few years it feels like I acquiesce and make a concession of sorts. I dreamt of being an astronaut. I wondered about being an architect. I should have been a writer. And now the question is whether to play it safe or to take a shot. To sell out more for a higher degree and higher salary or to gather some friends and try to build something on our own and help all of us feel a greater sense of pride and accomplishment from our careers.

Now would be the time to take such a risk. I don't have my own family to speak of, but that's not the case for all of my buddies. And their situations are something that I definitely factor into the equation.

Living Situation
Dissatisfied ---------------------- Satisfied
This is simultaneously insignificant and critical. Where I live and the finances that surround that question will impact every day afterward, but while I like my taste I can get by with something very basic.

I'm honestly interested to see which direction I go. Where I decide to live, if I rent or buy, will it be a house or condo, how much will I stretch myself financially? -- Pretty legitimate questions that I honestly don't have the answer to...

Dissatisfied ---------------------- Satisfied
Well, we touched on this just recently, didn't we? Evaluating how the family is coming along is pretty much two things for me: how is everyone doing and how much have I contributed to bettering the situation?

Dissatisfied ---------------------- Satisfied
I'm lucky to have the family that I do. I'm completely undeserving of the astounding friendships in my life. Have I been a good friend to them?

Dissatisfied ---------------------- Satisfied
I don't like to say that I'm picky, just particular. Do I know what I want from this aspect of my life and do my actions match that?

Dissatisfied ---------------------- Satisfied
Pretty self-explanatory.

Dissatisfied ---------------------- Satisfied
This too.

Dissatisfied ---------------------- Satisfied
And this.

Dissatisfied ---------------------- Satisfied
Every day I need to get better. We never stop learning about the things we don't know.

Dissatisfied ---------------------- Satisfied
Part of loving who I am is being married to how I think and how I carry myself. It's a fine line between being consistent and being ignorant.

Dissatisfied ---------------------- Satisfied
I love the concept of honesty. When we were young it was about being accountable. "who broke the cookie jar?" It was about whether to cheat with everyone else on that physics test. Now I think the honesty that is most elusive is emotional honesty. How do I really feel? If it's possible to filter the friends, the family, the music, the movies, the books, the quotes--- what opinions, thoughts, ideas, emotions lay underneath? Am I being true to those?

I wonder if I'll add/remove categories. I'm really interested to see how I'll evaluate these things. But I'm most interested to see how this changes my outlook for the last six months of 2010.


Cole said...

Oh man you just had to point out that the year is half over. That is sad. Great post though. Made me evaluate my life right now in the middle of 2010. I'm pretty happy with most of it. :)

Bu said...

Happening fast, right?? I really think you've been doing a stellar job in 2010, so I don't think you have much to worry about. :)

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